nobody's life is easy.
we all have our struggles.
whether they are major or minor.
sometimes you need to realise that we are all human beings.
just trying to go about living our lives.
some are better at hiding their emotions.
i don't want to be a human punching bag.
when things go wrong, don't be quick to assume that other people are at fault.
we need to take responsibility over our own actions.
sometimes the words are forgotten but the pain still remains.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
unsupportive
There are many strangers in this world and we are taught to not trust strangers and that we should only trust our family.
What are you suppose to do when your own flesh and blood betrays you?
You can no longer trust that person anymore.
Little left to be said and the lines of communication are no longer open.
What are we suppose to do when that same person has belittled you?
For many years stripped your self esteem to a point where you no longer believe in yourself and your own abilities.
Where you carry on with life believing that you are a useless human being.
I no longer want to please you anymore.
I have had enough of you.
You constantly change your mind, you believe on thing today and tomorrow you will believe in the opposite.
Enough is enough.
What are you suppose to do when your own flesh and blood betrays you?
You can no longer trust that person anymore.
Little left to be said and the lines of communication are no longer open.
What are we suppose to do when that same person has belittled you?
For many years stripped your self esteem to a point where you no longer believe in yourself and your own abilities.
Where you carry on with life believing that you are a useless human being.
I no longer want to please you anymore.
I have had enough of you.
You constantly change your mind, you believe on thing today and tomorrow you will believe in the opposite.
Enough is enough.
Monday, December 19, 2011
semi confused
Do you believe in karma?
I'm not sure if I completely believe in karma at my age.
I know that both good things and bad things happen to people.
That rule also applies for what society deems as bad people as well.
I don't think I have lived long enough to witness "bad people" experience bad luck.
I have seen some people who I have grown up with, lied to their parents, cheated on their partners, bully others, do drugs and the list continues.
My understanding of karma is that if you inflict pain upon others, you too will also be subjected to pain.
I haven't seen a case where I am satisfied that somebody got treated that way because of their actions upon others.
I am simply acting as a bystander into somebody's life right now, they are currently lying to everybody, making other people's life harder, neglecting, mistreating others, shifting blame while this whole time acting so innocent.
I'm not sure if this person will get what she deserves.
Who knows, I might be wrong, maybe she is doing something to counteract her evil deeds.
I am not wishing her bad luck but if bad luck does strike her, she probably deserves it.
Is it me or it is sometimes easier to describe negative thoughts than positive thoughts?
Looking back at a lot of my past blog entries, I have often written over 200 words in regards to bad events which take place. However, I don't seem to rejoice over the good things that happen in my life.
So I am going to start now.
I am really content with my life.
I have found somebody who I completely adore.
He completely adores me manages to see pass my flaws.
He is without a doubt loyal towards me.
I can trust him with my most intimate secrets and desires.
Somebody who I can talk on the phone for hours and not lose interest.
One who I can say everything and anything to because I know he is not judging me.
Finally, somebody here to stay!
I have passed all my university subjects in the first year and second year.
I am getting one step closer to finishing my course.
Currently, on a 3 month break from studying.
Summer is approaching and I am visiting the beach regularly.
I am in good health and in good condition.
I get many hours of sleep each night.
I am currently employed in casual work and loving it.
Each week, I am not required to work long hours, thus I have enough time to study when university commences.
Planning to travel in the summer break so I don't think it gets any better than that.
There's so many good things happening in my life right now.
I am not going to let some loser attempt to take control of my happiness.
I am happy and there's nothing that loser can do about it.
There's nothing you can say or do to change it.
On a completely different note, I believe my boyfriend's laptop gives me special writing abilities. Currently typing this post using his laptop and I find myself more productive on his laptop than mine.
Maybe it's because he has a bigger screen, better keyboard and better brand.
However, the only downside is that my hand keeps touching the touchpad.
Apart from that, it's all good.
I'm not sure if I completely believe in karma at my age.
I know that both good things and bad things happen to people.
That rule also applies for what society deems as bad people as well.
I don't think I have lived long enough to witness "bad people" experience bad luck.
I have seen some people who I have grown up with, lied to their parents, cheated on their partners, bully others, do drugs and the list continues.
My understanding of karma is that if you inflict pain upon others, you too will also be subjected to pain.
I haven't seen a case where I am satisfied that somebody got treated that way because of their actions upon others.
I am simply acting as a bystander into somebody's life right now, they are currently lying to everybody, making other people's life harder, neglecting, mistreating others, shifting blame while this whole time acting so innocent.
I'm not sure if this person will get what she deserves.
Who knows, I might be wrong, maybe she is doing something to counteract her evil deeds.
I am not wishing her bad luck but if bad luck does strike her, she probably deserves it.
Is it me or it is sometimes easier to describe negative thoughts than positive thoughts?
Looking back at a lot of my past blog entries, I have often written over 200 words in regards to bad events which take place. However, I don't seem to rejoice over the good things that happen in my life.
So I am going to start now.
I am really content with my life.
I have found somebody who I completely adore.
He completely adores me manages to see pass my flaws.
He is without a doubt loyal towards me.
I can trust him with my most intimate secrets and desires.
Somebody who I can talk on the phone for hours and not lose interest.
One who I can say everything and anything to because I know he is not judging me.
Finally, somebody here to stay!
I have passed all my university subjects in the first year and second year.
I am getting one step closer to finishing my course.
Currently, on a 3 month break from studying.
Summer is approaching and I am visiting the beach regularly.
I am in good health and in good condition.
I get many hours of sleep each night.
I am currently employed in casual work and loving it.
Each week, I am not required to work long hours, thus I have enough time to study when university commences.
Planning to travel in the summer break so I don't think it gets any better than that.
There's so many good things happening in my life right now.
I am not going to let some loser attempt to take control of my happiness.
I am happy and there's nothing that loser can do about it.
There's nothing you can say or do to change it.
On a completely different note, I believe my boyfriend's laptop gives me special writing abilities. Currently typing this post using his laptop and I find myself more productive on his laptop than mine.
Maybe it's because he has a bigger screen, better keyboard and better brand.
However, the only downside is that my hand keeps touching the touchpad.
Apart from that, it's all good.
Friday, December 16, 2011
the plain simple truth
It has been a long time since I have last reflected on my life and all the lessons I have learnt out of life.
If there is anything that I have learnt in the last week; is that the truth will set you free.
In this world nobody is perfect, and that at times we lie, whether it is big lies or white lies. This also includes not telling the complete truth and editing parts of the story. Not telling the whole and complete truth is lying.
Sometimes children lie to their parents; fearing that they will be judged or to prevent their parents worrying over them. Some may believe that white lies are acceptable towards parents, however, children don't see how much pain is caused from a simple lie. Telling white lies destroys one's creditability and accountability.
From a young age, we are taught about the boy who cried wolf.
He told a small lie to gather the people's attention and after a while, people stop believing him. By the time, he told the truth nobody believed him.
At other times people chose to ignore the consequences and begin to gamble. Some people believe that they have mastered the art of deception, however, the truth is nobody ever masters the art of constantly deceiving people. Sooner or later, the truth will be revealed. As an example, the boy who cried wolf.
This week, I have witnessed many lies issued until it reached a climax.
It got to a point where a relationship breakdown was occurring.
In this case, the only thing left to do was not to continue lying but tell the truth.
To sit down with all parties involved and explain the whole truth and the complete truth.
Emotions ran wild, as the truth was being revealed.
I think that life can sometimes be ironic where people lie in an attempt to improve the situation however, their attempts fail and that their lies was making the situation worse.
I believe, when I do start having my own children, if there is one life lesson I need to teach them. It will be that "the truth will set you free".
If there is anything that I have learnt in the last week; is that the truth will set you free.
In this world nobody is perfect, and that at times we lie, whether it is big lies or white lies. This also includes not telling the complete truth and editing parts of the story. Not telling the whole and complete truth is lying.
Sometimes children lie to their parents; fearing that they will be judged or to prevent their parents worrying over them. Some may believe that white lies are acceptable towards parents, however, children don't see how much pain is caused from a simple lie. Telling white lies destroys one's creditability and accountability.
From a young age, we are taught about the boy who cried wolf.
He told a small lie to gather the people's attention and after a while, people stop believing him. By the time, he told the truth nobody believed him.
At other times people chose to ignore the consequences and begin to gamble. Some people believe that they have mastered the art of deception, however, the truth is nobody ever masters the art of constantly deceiving people. Sooner or later, the truth will be revealed. As an example, the boy who cried wolf.
This week, I have witnessed many lies issued until it reached a climax.
It got to a point where a relationship breakdown was occurring.
In this case, the only thing left to do was not to continue lying but tell the truth.
To sit down with all parties involved and explain the whole truth and the complete truth.
Emotions ran wild, as the truth was being revealed.
I think that life can sometimes be ironic where people lie in an attempt to improve the situation however, their attempts fail and that their lies was making the situation worse.
I believe, when I do start having my own children, if there is one life lesson I need to teach them. It will be that "the truth will set you free".
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Untitled
You are a loser.
I treated you as a friend and I was stupid to believe you were my friend.
Bloody hell, just bloody grow up and stop talking behind my back.
You demand that people don't talk to you behind your back then why would you do that to others.
Calling other people names will not boost your self esteem.
You are always acting as if you are the victim.
Grow up, people get hurt all the time but we all gather ourselves and start over.
You always say you are so tired, well you are so tired all day long because you are a bloody couch potato.
Maybe if you got up and about and do something you wouldn't feel so tired all the time.
It was a my mistake to consider you as my friend.
For all the times I stuck up for you and you simply treat me as dirt.
You are not worth my time or attention any more.
P.S you cooking sucks. I hate eating deep fried everything.
I treated you as a friend and I was stupid to believe you were my friend.
Bloody hell, just bloody grow up and stop talking behind my back.
You demand that people don't talk to you behind your back then why would you do that to others.
Calling other people names will not boost your self esteem.
You are always acting as if you are the victim.
Grow up, people get hurt all the time but we all gather ourselves and start over.
You always say you are so tired, well you are so tired all day long because you are a bloody couch potato.
Maybe if you got up and about and do something you wouldn't feel so tired all the time.
It was a my mistake to consider you as my friend.
For all the times I stuck up for you and you simply treat me as dirt.
You are not worth my time or attention any more.
P.S you cooking sucks. I hate eating deep fried everything.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Maybe This Time
I'm silly.
I thought that maybe if I just saw you, thinks will simply just work out.
We will either fall madly in love again or the complete opposite, you will completely crush my heart and tell me in person that there's nothing left.
But, either way, it was a risk I was willingly to take.
I didn't sit around, listening to break up songs and holding onto hope if it does not exist.
While I was busy organizing the trip, suddenly reality kicked in.
You don't need me around anymore, you only spoke to me during your difficult times last year because your girlfriend at that time rejected you.
Overnight, I simply became the rebound girl.
I was there for you when you felt like crying and wanted somebody to talk to.
You said you wanted to cut her out of your life and I was silly enough to believe you.
Almost 1 year since you two first went out an attempt was made to keep in contact.
Maybe that's why you have lost interest in me because now she's back into your life.
Now this way you can spend more time on "other commitments" and I sure as hell know that those "other commitments" don't include me.
I really wish things could work out to a point where I was just fooling myself.
Maybe, you already knew that there's no future ahead for us.
I'm sorry for placing you in an uncomfortable position.
I now know that there's no place for me in your world and I will slowly fade away.
I thought that maybe if I just saw you, thinks will simply just work out.
We will either fall madly in love again or the complete opposite, you will completely crush my heart and tell me in person that there's nothing left.
But, either way, it was a risk I was willingly to take.
I didn't sit around, listening to break up songs and holding onto hope if it does not exist.
While I was busy organizing the trip, suddenly reality kicked in.
You don't need me around anymore, you only spoke to me during your difficult times last year because your girlfriend at that time rejected you.
Overnight, I simply became the rebound girl.
I was there for you when you felt like crying and wanted somebody to talk to.
You said you wanted to cut her out of your life and I was silly enough to believe you.
Almost 1 year since you two first went out an attempt was made to keep in contact.
Maybe that's why you have lost interest in me because now she's back into your life.
Now this way you can spend more time on "other commitments" and I sure as hell know that those "other commitments" don't include me.
I really wish things could work out to a point where I was just fooling myself.
Maybe, you already knew that there's no future ahead for us.
I'm sorry for placing you in an uncomfortable position.
I now know that there's no place for me in your world and I will slowly fade away.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Last Day On Earth
What would you do if today was the last day on earth?
Would you spend every waking moment doing things you have always wanted to do?
Or would you spend your time, preparing your final words or your will.
If today was my last day on earth, I would gather all my family and friends and throw a massive party. First we’ll enjoy a nice drink, cheesecake and Lindt chocolate at the Lindt café, sharing my silly moments.
In the afternoon, we’ll visit an all you can eat place that serves Korean, Japanese, Italian, Vietnamese and Greek food. I would demand that everybody try a slice of raw salmon and drink bubble tea.
After lunch, I would screen clips of my favourite movie and television show and play games of laser tag. After all the fun activities, for dinner, we’ll have a BBQ and Hotpot. Now it’s time to pull out the vodka. For desserts, we’ll have MANY different flavours of ICE CREAM.
After dinner, we’ll start with a speech on how I lived and loved to be remembered. I will welcome everybody to write down one thing they loved about me, miss about me and their favourite moment with me in a leather bounded book and to be taken care of by the love of my life.
Before the end, I will excuse myself from the centre of attention and spend the last moment with the love of my life.
I will tell him, I have loved him from the day we fell in love until the end of my time. I wish him good luck with the rest of his life and remind him that I will always be by his side.
Would you spend every waking moment doing things you have always wanted to do?
Or would you spend your time, preparing your final words or your will.
If today was my last day on earth, I would gather all my family and friends and throw a massive party. First we’ll enjoy a nice drink, cheesecake and Lindt chocolate at the Lindt café, sharing my silly moments.
In the afternoon, we’ll visit an all you can eat place that serves Korean, Japanese, Italian, Vietnamese and Greek food. I would demand that everybody try a slice of raw salmon and drink bubble tea.
After lunch, I would screen clips of my favourite movie and television show and play games of laser tag. After all the fun activities, for dinner, we’ll have a BBQ and Hotpot. Now it’s time to pull out the vodka. For desserts, we’ll have MANY different flavours of ICE CREAM.
After dinner, we’ll start with a speech on how I lived and loved to be remembered. I will welcome everybody to write down one thing they loved about me, miss about me and their favourite moment with me in a leather bounded book and to be taken care of by the love of my life.
Before the end, I will excuse myself from the centre of attention and spend the last moment with the love of my life.
I will tell him, I have loved him from the day we fell in love until the end of my time. I wish him good luck with the rest of his life and remind him that I will always be by his side.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Dear Mr Silver Hard Drive
Dear Mr Silver Hard Drive,
What happened to you? I thought we had a good thing going.
Every week, I will update you with new video and files.
You've never disappeared out of my sight before.
I know, I have caused a few injuries but they were only accidents. I never meant for you to get hurt.
Please Mr Silver Hard Drive, come home, where you belong.
You know you belong to me.
Love Melly.
What happened to you? I thought we had a good thing going.
Every week, I will update you with new video and files.
You've never disappeared out of my sight before.
I know, I have caused a few injuries but they were only accidents. I never meant for you to get hurt.
Please Mr Silver Hard Drive, come home, where you belong.
You know you belong to me.
Love Melly.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Conversation on Happiness
While I was busy sipping on my coconut drink, my mum started talking about happiness.
She said that in life we shouldn't dwell on sadness and it's best to have a positive mindset.
She also said that out of my sisters and I, my younger sister is the "happiest".
I smiled and replied that's because she's easily pleased.
I have never seen anybody eyes light up when I hand them a piece of chocolate or cookie.
I don't believe that anybody is "happier" than somebody else.
I believe it really depends on find what makes them happy.
For my sister, her happiness comes in eating the food she likes.
While others are still searching for that special something that makes them extremely happy.
She said that in life we shouldn't dwell on sadness and it's best to have a positive mindset.
She also said that out of my sisters and I, my younger sister is the "happiest".
I smiled and replied that's because she's easily pleased.
I have never seen anybody eyes light up when I hand them a piece of chocolate or cookie.
I don't believe that anybody is "happier" than somebody else.
I believe it really depends on find what makes them happy.
For my sister, her happiness comes in eating the food she likes.
While others are still searching for that special something that makes them extremely happy.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Dr Jones
Dear my Dr Jones,
Sometimes the feeling is right,
you fall in love for the first time,
Heartbeat and kisses so sweet
summertime love in the moonlight,
You're my first love and I cherish every moment I spent with you.
I still recall our first kiss, it was a sweet moment.
Now the summer is gone,
you had to go back home
please come and see me again,
I never felt more alone.
I hope during your busy schedule next year that you would still find time to talk to this silly girl and perhaps visit this silly girl.
Baby I am missing you
I want you by my side
and I hope you'll miss me too
Come back and stay
I think about you every day
I hope you are taking care of yourself.
I really want you too
You swept my feet right off the ground
You're the love I found
Doctor Jones, Jones
Calling doctor jones.
Who am I kidding when I try to find somebody to replace you.
You are irreplaceable, I love you so dearly that I can't compare you to anybody.
All I think of is you
and all the things we had
doctor what can I do
why does it have to be like that
There's no point dwelling on past events.
The bad things happened for a reason.
Sometimes I'm good that they happened, it has allowed to communicate effectively.
Sometimes the feeling is right,
you fall in love for the first time,
Heartbeat and kisses so sweet
summertime love in the moonlight,
You're my first love and I cherish every moment I spent with you.
I still recall our first kiss, it was a sweet moment.
Now the summer is gone,
you had to go back home
please come and see me again,
I never felt more alone.
I hope during your busy schedule next year that you would still find time to talk to this silly girl and perhaps visit this silly girl.
Baby I am missing you
I want you by my side
and I hope you'll miss me too
Come back and stay
I think about you every day
I hope you are taking care of yourself.
I really want you too
You swept my feet right off the ground
You're the love I found
Doctor Jones, Jones
Calling doctor jones.
Who am I kidding when I try to find somebody to replace you.
You are irreplaceable, I love you so dearly that I can't compare you to anybody.
All I think of is you
and all the things we had
doctor what can I do
why does it have to be like that
There's no point dwelling on past events.
The bad things happened for a reason.
Sometimes I'm good that they happened, it has allowed to communicate effectively.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Melbourne Christmas 2010
This Christmas was just another excuse to relax and enjoy eating food.
The Christmas celebrations commenced with a small Christmas party where we exchanged gifts, watched movies and enjoy good food. The Christmas party ended with myself and two friends finishing off a Safeway mudcake. After eating a quarter of the cake, it didn't feel like Christmas in my stomach anymore.
Over the next following days, there were more Christmas gatherings, more eating, more sitting around and talking.
In between the Christmas gathering, I also visited shopping centres to take advantage of their extended Christmas trading hours. I also did a lot of shopping around.
My favourite part of Christmas besides spending time catching up with family and friends and the awesome Christmas atmosphere has to be BOXING DAY SALES!
This year I only managed to pick up two items from the sales a new dress and a cropped jacket. =)
The Christmas celebrations commenced with a small Christmas party where we exchanged gifts, watched movies and enjoy good food. The Christmas party ended with myself and two friends finishing off a Safeway mudcake. After eating a quarter of the cake, it didn't feel like Christmas in my stomach anymore.
Over the next following days, there were more Christmas gatherings, more eating, more sitting around and talking.
In between the Christmas gathering, I also visited shopping centres to take advantage of their extended Christmas trading hours. I also did a lot of shopping around.
My favourite part of Christmas besides spending time catching up with family and friends and the awesome Christmas atmosphere has to be BOXING DAY SALES!
This year I only managed to pick up two items from the sales a new dress and a cropped jacket. =)
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Nice Randoms
Today,
1. Random Tram Driver
I called one of my workmate and asked where she was so we can walk to work together.
She told me that she was 10 minutes away from the tram stop, so I sat on the bench and waited for my friend.
Out of the blue, a tram driver approached me and asked me which tram I planned to catch. I replied that I was waiting for my friend.
The tram driver asked me if I was on school holidays and when they started.
He told me that he only has 1 week off for Christmas and he applied for 2 weeks off since Feb this year and his boss told me to apply again next year.
He was nice and kept me company, until he realise that his break time was over and it was time to head back and drive the tram. =D
2. Random Guy
After work, I usually catch the train home.
I clearly made it to the barriers after a guy, however, he was nice and offered me to get into the station before him.
=D
The moral of the story, be nice to people and it'll make their day.
1. Random Tram Driver
I called one of my workmate and asked where she was so we can walk to work together.
She told me that she was 10 minutes away from the tram stop, so I sat on the bench and waited for my friend.
Out of the blue, a tram driver approached me and asked me which tram I planned to catch. I replied that I was waiting for my friend.
The tram driver asked me if I was on school holidays and when they started.
He told me that he only has 1 week off for Christmas and he applied for 2 weeks off since Feb this year and his boss told me to apply again next year.
He was nice and kept me company, until he realise that his break time was over and it was time to head back and drive the tram. =D
2. Random Guy
After work, I usually catch the train home.
I clearly made it to the barriers after a guy, however, he was nice and offered me to get into the station before him.
=D
The moral of the story, be nice to people and it'll make their day.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Crazy People
There are some crazy ass bitches in this world. You would think that since our society is more educated the number of bogans would decrease and the number of loud, angry people would decrease as well. Sadly it doesn't.
Yesterday, my friends and I went into Safeway.
Some lady accidently ran into my friend with a broken shopping basket.
She apologised on the spot (which was polite and the right thing to do).
After that my friend and I stood aside in one of the isles and I noticed he was bleeding.
Naturally, whenever I see somebody bleeding, I would tell them; "you're bleeding."
That crazy, angry lady walked past and heard "you're bleeding".
In the middle of Safeway she yelled, "stop trying to make me feel bad, I already apologised and it was an accident."
Bitch! What's your problem?
I am entitled to tell my friend that he's bleeding and if you cared you would give him a bandaid since he's bleeding.
I didn't say you did anything wrong and I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
If I wanted to make you feel bad, you would have been in tears by now.
Besides, I know that accidents happen so what's your problem?
In conclusion, there are some crazy angry people which make this world suck!
Yesterday, my friends and I went into Safeway.
Some lady accidently ran into my friend with a broken shopping basket.
She apologised on the spot (which was polite and the right thing to do).
After that my friend and I stood aside in one of the isles and I noticed he was bleeding.
Naturally, whenever I see somebody bleeding, I would tell them; "you're bleeding."
That crazy, angry lady walked past and heard "you're bleeding".
In the middle of Safeway she yelled, "stop trying to make me feel bad, I already apologised and it was an accident."
Bitch! What's your problem?
I am entitled to tell my friend that he's bleeding and if you cared you would give him a bandaid since he's bleeding.
I didn't say you did anything wrong and I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
If I wanted to make you feel bad, you would have been in tears by now.
Besides, I know that accidents happen so what's your problem?
In conclusion, there are some crazy angry people which make this world suck!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
epic fail
Fuck you,
For many years of my life you have neglected me. I walked this path alone.
Along the way, you have insulted with your harsh words, you never encouraged me and never believed in me. You made me believe that I was a pathetic piece of shit on the side of the road. I believe it so, to the extent I wanted to move away from everything and end everything. I have no self esteem, I believed that I had no strengths and I only had possessed weakness.
I always thought that nothing good will ever come my way.
Whenever I made a slight achievement, you would always find ways to slander it, you would always say that you're not that special and it's not that hard to achieve or you would compare to others.
I know that I am a disappointment, I never achieved extremely high results at school.
I know I am not the prettiest girl; not the slimmist and I don't have perfect skin.
But I never took drugs, I never binge drink.
I don't ask you for money and I work part time to support my own personal spending.
But why must you still believe that I am a disappointment?
Am I that pathetic? That I don't realise I'm that pathetic.
If I am, tell me how to change.
I thought I was immune to your constant insults but I'm not. It still cuts me on the inside.
I will promise you that one day, I'll make a great contribution to this society.
I'll move out into the big wide world and make myself useful.
I promise I won't do anything to disappoint you anymore.
I'm sorry for being the biggest disappointment in your life.
For many years of my life you have neglected me. I walked this path alone.
Along the way, you have insulted with your harsh words, you never encouraged me and never believed in me. You made me believe that I was a pathetic piece of shit on the side of the road. I believe it so, to the extent I wanted to move away from everything and end everything. I have no self esteem, I believed that I had no strengths and I only had possessed weakness.
I always thought that nothing good will ever come my way.
Whenever I made a slight achievement, you would always find ways to slander it, you would always say that you're not that special and it's not that hard to achieve or you would compare to others.
I know that I am a disappointment, I never achieved extremely high results at school.
I know I am not the prettiest girl; not the slimmist and I don't have perfect skin.
But I never took drugs, I never binge drink.
I don't ask you for money and I work part time to support my own personal spending.
But why must you still believe that I am a disappointment?
Am I that pathetic? That I don't realise I'm that pathetic.
If I am, tell me how to change.
I thought I was immune to your constant insults but I'm not. It still cuts me on the inside.
I will promise you that one day, I'll make a great contribution to this society.
I'll move out into the big wide world and make myself useful.
I promise I won't do anything to disappoint you anymore.
I'm sorry for being the biggest disappointment in your life.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Buttermilk Pancakes!
I just finished my exams and I decided to do something useful with my time.
I got up at 7 am in the morning just to make BUTTERMILK PANCAKES!
I followed taste.com.au buttermilk pancakes minus the strawberries.
Ingredients
1/2 cup of caster sugar
1/2 cup of bicarbonate soda
2 cup of self raising flour
600 ml of buttermilk
2 eggs
I got up at 7 am in the morning just to make BUTTERMILK PANCAKES!
I followed taste.com.au buttermilk pancakes minus the strawberries.
Ingredients
1/2 cup of caster sugar
1/2 cup of bicarbonate soda
2 cup of self raising flour
600 ml of buttermilk
2 eggs
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
List of Numbers I Reject
Here's a list of numbers I reject from my mobile as they are telemarketing.
Everytime a telemarketer calls me on my mobile, I save their number so I remember to reject them next time they call.
0888 888
02 8217 1579
02 8217 1570
02 8217 1566
07 5512 1013
Everytime a telemarketer calls me on my mobile, I save their number so I remember to reject them next time they call.
0888 888
02 8217 1579
02 8217 1570
02 8217 1566
07 5512 1013
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Unbeautiful
Recently I have been spending more time away from home.
As my social network begins to expand, I begin to feel less pretty.
I am friends with some of the most gorgeous ladies.
In return, I begin to feel like the ugly duckling.
These day, I am spending less time thinking about what clothes to wear and less time clothes shopping.
Why the change?
Now, it's approaching the stage where I would ask my sisters to match my clothes for me. I feel like a loser. '(
These days all I wear are jeans and a plain T-shirt.
Maybe I'm spending too much time hanging around boys at uni.. maybe I am starting to act like one. ='(
Sometimes, we see pictures of people we know of facebook and they look absolutely flawless. Sadly, majority of them wear make up.
Everyday, I wake up and I don't apply make up because it feels unnatural.
I rather look like an ugly duckling then apply make up.
Is it shallow to think that make up is an essential for being beautiful?
Why can't one look beautiful without wearing make up?
What's the moral of the story?
It's time for a SHOPPING SPREE!
As my social network begins to expand, I begin to feel less pretty.
I am friends with some of the most gorgeous ladies.
In return, I begin to feel like the ugly duckling.
These day, I am spending less time thinking about what clothes to wear and less time clothes shopping.
Why the change?
Now, it's approaching the stage where I would ask my sisters to match my clothes for me. I feel like a loser. '(
These days all I wear are jeans and a plain T-shirt.
Maybe I'm spending too much time hanging around boys at uni.. maybe I am starting to act like one. ='(
Sometimes, we see pictures of people we know of facebook and they look absolutely flawless. Sadly, majority of them wear make up.
Everyday, I wake up and I don't apply make up because it feels unnatural.
I rather look like an ugly duckling then apply make up.
Is it shallow to think that make up is an essential for being beautiful?
Why can't one look beautiful without wearing make up?
What's the moral of the story?
It's time for a SHOPPING SPREE!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Chocolate Sandwich
I am sure I have again 5 kg this week.
I bought a packet of chocolate melts/ buttons and I have been using it to make chocolate sandwich.
Here's my recipe
1. Toast the sandwich
2. Cover the sandwich with chocolate melts
3. Microwave the sandwich for 30-50 seconds.
I love it because it's so simple and easy!
I bought a packet of chocolate melts/ buttons and I have been using it to make chocolate sandwich.
Here's my recipe
1. Toast the sandwich
2. Cover the sandwich with chocolate melts
3. Microwave the sandwich for 30-50 seconds.
I love it because it's so simple and easy!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Job Hunting
I am working at a cafe and my employer is currently underpaying me.
My employer pays all employees in cash and hence, avoid paying tax.
I have provided my employer with my tax details over a month ago and I am still not on the payroll.
Hence, I am in the search of a new job.
I have applied for a local cafe near my university and now I am going to apply for my local grocery store.
I just feel as if all my friends have better jobs compared to me.
I feel as if I am working and running around like a dog and I am receiving bacon fat.
='(
I feel depressed right now. I'm going to eat chocolate now.
I hope everything works out for me.
My employer pays all employees in cash and hence, avoid paying tax.
I have provided my employer with my tax details over a month ago and I am still not on the payroll.
Hence, I am in the search of a new job.
I have applied for a local cafe near my university and now I am going to apply for my local grocery store.
I just feel as if all my friends have better jobs compared to me.
I feel as if I am working and running around like a dog and I am receiving bacon fat.
='(
I feel depressed right now. I'm going to eat chocolate now.
I hope everything works out for me.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
My Writing
I wrote many excerpts during high school, the days of dreaming , heartaches and tears. I felt as if I was in an everlasting nightmare seeking to escape. I wrote in order to escape reality and afterwards I would feel relax and I could tackle the world once more. I know I’m not a good writer which is evident in all the mistakes in my writing. However, my aim isn’t to become an author or journalist, I write to express my most intimate feelings from the bottom of my heart which is quite difficult. I have closed my heart from the world for a long time and writing is encouraging me to speak from my heart. When I have a heart to heart conversation where I voice my inner feelings, tears stream from my eyes. It’s an area which I rarely access and share with anybody in this world. I have closed off my heart fearing if I expose my heart to the world inevitably somebody would shatter my heart.
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