Hours until Depression

It's currently 4 mins until the 1st of Feb.
The 1st of Feb is a very important date for myself.

In a few hours, I'll commence my junior education.
I'll also be commencing the final stages of my highschool education.

I've have been dreading this day for the past 4 years of my life and now it has caught up to me.
I have many fears, I final if I don't do see well in the next 2 years of my life, I'll be jeopardising my future.

Currently, I see no hope for me doing well in school. I lack a lot of confidence in everything I do.
I fail to see my strength, I only see weakness in myself.

Maybe I'm just one super depressed student who's being too hard on themselves.

I work part time at a local fast food joint and I give up my time everyweek for a family runned business above that I participate in many various extra curriulum activtives, I play my favourite sport and increasing my stress level I attend language school.

I am aware I have a hand full of things to do but giving up is so hard. Saying no is every hard when you love everything that you do.

Actually, saying no isn't that hard.

Tonight at work, a co worker approached me and informed me that he told a friend of my that I like him. The truth is, I don't like, never did and never will. He's not a bad person, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, does well in school and caring. The problem is I just don't have those feelings for him or any boy.

Pretty much everybody I know is either crushing, loving (taken) or looking for somebody. I feel like the odd ball. I can understand why people fall in love and form relationships. Others don't understand you don't feel a man/ girl in your life to be better off and also some others don't understand I'm not interested in anybody and that I don't want and don't need to be in a relationship.

I believe relationships are great until they start to fall apart. Besides, teenage crushes/ dating don't usually last long so save the tears, fears and money until when you're old enough to appreciate being in a relationship, your man/ girl and you're mature enough.

I've been at this post for the past 10 mins. I think I should get some rest because I have a long and hard day before me tomorrow.

Thank you for spending your time in reading a ridiculously long post.
P.S Don't be afraid of commenting. I love feedback and comments.