Making The Love!

The first five (5) people to respond to this post will get something made by me.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations so please read carefully:

1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make. What you get is what you get.

2. What I create will be just for you, with love, or at least with gusto.

3. It'll be done this year (2009).

4. I will not give you any clue what it's going to be. It (probably) will be something made in the real world and not something cyber. It may be weird or beautiful. It might or might not be edible. I may even create something totally unbelievable and surprise you at work!! Who knows?

5. I reserve the right to do something strange or quirky, but I promise not to embarrass you in public. I also reserve the right to do something fairly predictable and boring, but with, you know, thought and love.

6. In return, all you need to do is post this text into a note of your own and make 5 things for the first 5 to respond to your note.

I'm about to throw up

No, I'm not preggos.
Currently, I'm so sick of everything around me.
Firstly, there are some teachers who interacts with the class and understand what their students are going through.
Exams are just around the corner and the last thing students need to worry about is completing extra maths questions which aren't on the upcoming exam.

Secondly, how come a math's teacher's failure rate be greater than her success rate?
Just proves, I have an awesome maths teacher and I'm so going to pass maths this year. GRRRRRHhhhh, I dislike attending her maths classes.

ARGH! Students at an all girls school.
I'm a whiny bitch and I'm not constantly whine
Gosh, if you're life is so hard and you convince yourself; there are no answers to your problems then go and rot in a hole where nobody can see you.
I honestly, don't give a rats about you.
You're a sad, attention seeking, emo kid and you make all the people around you sick of you.
Don't have double standards, be grateful when somebody offers their time to teach you something AND stop being such a leech.
If you call somebody else fat, expect somebody to call you fat in return.
It's only fair and don't go crying you fat ass.
Secondly, if somebody takes time to help you with a question use your brain and think. I told you which method to use and you're still stuck. Ok, fine, I work the solutions out for you. Then you DON'T SAY THANK YOU!.. you insult me by saying my method doesn't make sense.
ARE YOU A STUPID COW?
Seriously, my YOUNGER sis can factorise and if you can't get out of a year 12 maths class because you're clearly not smart enough to do maths.
Don't trying to stuck up with somebody who you bitched about because nobody cares about you.
A few months ago, we used to be friends but right now, friendship? impossible.

FAT, UGLY, COWARD and ARROGANT PEOPLE.
It's bad that you're fat but you manage to top it off with being ugly.
but wait, you're also arrogant and a coward, woah, soon, you'll be on everybody's hit list.
Most vain people are average/ hot/ cute looking but you're neither.
Please buy yourself a mirror or change your glasses because not looking at your own reflection.
What's the point of trying to convince others you're princess and innocent, when you're far from that.
You'll pick food from the ground, you regularly tell people when you need to fart, pee or do 2.
Others tell you off and please listen to their advice and shut your mouth.
Nothing but a cheap whore.
Gosh, wtf would you want to befriend a potential rapist?
oi, he won't rape you because you're not hot enough.
Just sad, the lengths you go to in order to make friends.
actually, you might not have friends once they see your true personality.
PLEASE KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!

PATHETIC PEOPLE
yes, you know who you are.
You're the type of people who tries to say hello to people when they hate your guts.
The same type of people who tries to change the meaning of your setences and cause trouble.
The same person who RUINS friendships today and families tomorrow.
That same person who is a LIAR even to her friends.
Still the same lame person who acts like a victim.
The same person who grows uglier by the day.

FAT COLD HEARTED PERSON
YOU make things up and try to convience people.
you're a liar and a fraud.
People won't oppose you because they fear you're going to get up and body slam
and in the end kill them.


LOSER MUCH?!
You were such a Nazi about attending meetings last year.
You, poor thing, spending so such of your time trying to target me
and making me look like a loser.
Sadly, it's not working this year.
I think you've finally see that people in our group actually listens and respects me.
aww, you poor thing, the competition was all in your head.

LIBRARY STAFF!
omg! JUST LEAVE US ALONE!
You keep telling us to be quiet so other can study.
You know what actually might help. IF YOU NEVER ENTER THE ROOM.
Every time YOU enter the room and shout at girls, you're ruining somebody's train of thought.
The background noise doesn't affect people who are studying because NOBODY is trying to talk to them.
So do us a favour and STOP ENTERING THE ROOM.


All girls school,
As much as students and some teachers annoys me, I'm some what entertained.
I'm glad to know, I'm not the worst person in the world because they are heaps of losers in this world.



hmmm, yup I think that's all I need to rant about.

Reflection, Dilation, Translation = Transformation

Life is just another transformation.
Many times we are asked to reflect on the expansion and contractions after encountering conflict.
The reflection can leave us either feeling positive or negative.
This positiveness or negativeness can be seen by all the other points in life.
Life doesn't focus on a particular point in time rather the over all nature.

After conducting the reflection and dilation we begin to study the translation.
How for up or down have we moved? There is no direct relationship between our status in life and the positiveness and negativeness that we experience.

So after the reflection, dilation and translation we begin to see the transformation.

Saturday

wrapped warm and cosy
so warm don't want to leave it
oh no you stupid

Time For Change

Sometimes we become too used to our own habits and eventually our habits begin to cripple us. The habit which cripples me is the drive to become one of the best and my pessimistic behaviour.

I've decided from own now, not to worry about my grades and focus on producing outstanding work.Even if my outstanding work is inadequate compared to other people, I shall be proud. I shall be proud of myself for producing that piece of work.

I have been on this Earth for over two decades and yet I still don't know how to love myself. I've always feared that if I love myself, others may depict me as being vain. Loving yourself is not being vain, it's a part of looking after one's well being. I won't neglect my family or friend's well being so why should I neglect my own?

Suppose this shall restore my physical and emotion well being.

Bitter Depression

I wrote this story a few months ago, I never realised how much this story means to me. Perhaps, this story offers an insight into my character.

Irony: Some people spend their whole life trying to find their source of happiness, however, little do they know, happiness comes from their heart.

“BEEP!” “BEEP!” There goes my alarm on this depressingly cold winter morning. Every morning I wake up to a dead and lifeless house, there’s no green plants lurking around, no annoying song birds chirping in the morning and everything is quiet. Silence isn’t the key to happiness; I’m still on my mission to save myself and to find my happiness. I’ve been on this mission for years.

I once thought the reason for my unhappiness was my family. A mother, who doesn’t speak proper English; she constantly screams and nags. A mother, who nags you for everything that is imperfect about her life, complains about the state of the house and blames you for all the misfortunes that occur in her life. A father who is a coward - he hides his thoughts, fearing the consequences of revealing his thoughts and constantly fails to see faults in his wife. A father, who is a great husband, however, he is a horrible father. A sister who is too obsessed with her perfectly manicured nails, she fails to see that there’s more to life then her manicure. A family with completely different personalities, a family unit that is too dysfunctional to function.

“OUCH!” I just burnt my finger using this old kettle. If William was here, he would have given me an icepack. William was my ex boyfriend, I broke up with him because he was clearly out of my league. He loved me too much, he cared for me too much and I was constantly insecure. However, there were many things in our relationship that prevented us to be together. I miss his tender touch and how he would whisper soft and sweet words into my ear and how he would sneak up on me. For once in my life, I found somebody I love but I ruined it. The long and enduring fights that went on, how I wanted him to find somebody better and I always found faults in him.

“Oh no,” It’s eight; I’ll be late for work. Another day of the same old same, a job where no changes take place and everything repeats itself. Every morning I question my purpose in life. Every morning I come to the same conclusion, I am here to live. I start to see my mission to save her (my) world. I’m slowly sinking into misery and depression. I currently have nothing to live for.

*BANG!* A quick white light flashed before me. I wake up, white cotton bandages are around my forehead, and plaster covered both my arms and legs and I wore a neck-brace to keep my neck straight. This is definitely an awkward position to be in. The man, wearing a white laboratory coat came into the room. Dr Kew informed me, what happened, what’s happening and what will happen. Dr Kew, said bones in my arm and leg are broken and they’ll heal. I can resume my normal every day activities. However, they one thing that will change is I will not be able to walk due to a spinal injury.

How can anybody be happy when they find out they will spend the rest of their life in a wheel chair? I’ve decided to quit my job in fear of embarrassment, I didn’t inform my family about my condition, I knew that they wouldn’t give a rats and I don’t have any friends who I can talk to.
I was doing this alone, I spent many hours crying and sobbing. I felt sorry for myself, I’ve tried starving myself to control parts of my life, I’ve tired inflicting pain on myself and I’ve tried to end my life but I couldn’t do it. I was a complete coward. Eventually, my days became weeks and the weeks become months since I left the house. My food supply was running low; I needed to visit the supermarket. I gathered up all my courage and I decided to leave the house to buy some food.

A young man approached me, “Are you Emily?” I replied yes, my name is Emily. “How did you know my name?”
“My name is Billy; I’m your younger brother.”
“Mum, dad, older sister and William talk a lot about you. However, they never mentioned you were disabled”
“Let me guess, mum kept telling you, I’ve been a bad kid. Dad probably didn’t say anything and agreed with mum, older sister thought I was annoying and leaving the house was for the best and William probably talked about how stupid I’ve been.”
“Emily, how can you think those things? Mum has praying for a long time for you to return home, dad’s mental state is deteriorating because he regrets not being a better father, older sister has tried long and hard trying to locate you and William, he helps older sister, he has been crying since the day you left.”
Was Billy telling the truth? How does he know such much about my past?

I woke up back in the hospital again, this time Dr Kew delivered more bad news. Due to my poor diet and lack of sunlight, I was diagnosed with cancer in the last stage. I only had a month to live. After, I received the bad news, I received visitors, and it was my mother, father, sister, brother and William. My family hugged me and apologised for all their mistakes and I never realised much they once loved me. I failed to see their affection but now I can see their affection clearly. My family supported me mentally through to my final days.

“Emily, I know you don’t have long to live but you’re the best thing that has happened to me. I’ve missed you dearly. Emily, would you take my hand in marriage?”

Dear William, I loved you very much. My heart belongs to you. I don’t have long to live so I’ve decided you’ll need to forget about me and start a new life.

“William, I love you dearly but I wouldn’t accept your offer. I’ll be gone soon, you’ll need to forget about me and start over again.”

My final words:
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to find happiness; in the end I’m dissatisfied. Happiness comes within ones self. Happiness is the light in a dark room, the light that guides us throughout life. When the light becomes dim, reignite the light yourself. You are responsible for your own happiness. Just don’t waste your life, like I did.”

I'm cold

I'm cold.
Winter is approaching.
My hands icy blue.
I hear rain, yet do not see it.
Times like these all I want is a good cuppa.
Sitting on my computer chair and my legs under my covers.
My legs are warm and my hands twig like.
The sun shines bright, laughing at all the bitter people.
The winter winds come out to play.
People confused; should I wear a jumper or not?
Some are left cold while others are left warm.
Where's my cuppa?
Oh wait, I haven't put the kettle on.
Spell check, completed.
Where's my gloves?
Hidden under the pile of winter woolies.
Every action completed is so systematic.
Must do A, then B and then C.
ROBOT!
Robot batteries are dyi...