annoyed!

I'm so sick and tired chasing after you.
I'm starting to think you simply don't care.
I'm at a point where I don't care anymore.
Why should I bother when the other person doesn't care?
This doesn't make me feel happy.
I don't like chasing after somebody, I hate it.
I GIVE UP!
You just go and do whatever you want.
I'll just stop caring for you because you obiviously already stopped caring for me.

Don't bother calling anymore, I'm not picking up.

Anticipation

We have talked about our highs and lows and shared a piece of our daily life for almost three years. However, it seems as if I have known you my whole life.
Talking to you; I see my past, my present and my future.
A past with my irreversible mistakes, a present which I hope to survive in order to spend my future with you.
Looking back,my memory is flooded with all the different conversations we had.
I remember it was roughly 12 months ago, you told me you feared your life is going to end soon.
I remember all the emotions I felt when you told me and eventually, I cried.
I cried because I never had a chance to meet you and I can not imagine my life without you.
Your nurturing nature and your words of wisdom has assisted me in the past.

Who knew that you'll be my partner today?
I never would have imagined it but this just shows life is full of twist and turns.
I am glad, I did enter the forum before you left.
I am glad after all this time we still talk.
I am thankful that I have found somebody who cares and loves me.

I just feel as if everything between has been a sweet dream.
Within a few days, I will finally meet you in person.
I am nervous.
What if I am not what you're looking for?
What if you're not what I'm looking for?
What if this was all just a sweet dream which has no place in reality?
What if I like you but don't want to be with you?
What if you like me and I don't like you?
What if I like you and you don't like me?
What if we have a communication problem?
What if you fall in love with somebody else?
What if you only like the idea of me as a person?
What if I only like the idea of you as a person?
What if you don't think I'm pretty?
What if you don't think I'm smart enough?
What if we hate each other?
What if nothing happens between us?
What if we are not fated to meet?
What if I'm not the one?

I would love to disregard the what if, however, I know these what if either make or break relationships.
I'm just scared.

untitled

In an army of one against the ancient Romans; stab, twist and pull.
Stab, twist and pull was developed to inflect the most physical pain before death.
Once, captured nobody survives the Roman army.
The army is approaching, due north in their wild and vicious pack, like wolves my father used to say.
No hiding place, I am as visible as the moon during a solar eclipse.

Chain up as a dog, my life is spared.
Slowly, crawling into voluntary solitary confinement and upholding my right to remain silent during the interrogation.
As the days passes, my inner being corrodes and vaporise into thin air.

The world is coming to an end, Romans are overthrown.
They have given up and now I am free to be and see.
Now, I'm a piece of rubbish and as useful as a grain of sand in a desert.
Why don't you just let me be?